Wednesday, 8 February 2012

DfT launches Operation Derail

Eye can exclusively reveal why the Department has been so effective this week!

Half of them aren't there.

Under Operation Step Change, 50% of staff have been asked to stay at home, travel at different times or 're-mode' (yes, really) as a practice run for the Olympics.

Apparently so many have risen to the challenge of staying at home, there's no one left to make all those tricky decisions, silence Greenhorn ministers, etc...

Heaven help us in August.

Carry On team does the railway - EXCLUSIVE

Eye is delighted to hear that the Carry On team are about to release a new film - Carry On up the Railway

Plot summary: Sir David Ruff-Digger looks after the British railway network. Protected by Col Richard Right-Pryce and the members of the Third Foot and Mouth regiment (ORR Division), you would think they were safe.

But the treacherous Khazi of Greening has other ideas. Having signed off the Baksheesh necessary to keep the network running she is ambushed in a TV studio and completely rewrites government policy!

Fun and japes ensue as the Khazi of Greening tries to justify her volte-face as hoards of senior managers desert the railway and trains grind to a halt.


Sir David Ruff-Digger - Sid James

The Khazi of Greening - Hattie Jacques

Crawford Rani of SpAds - Joan Sims

Col Richard Right-Pryce - Charles Hawtrey

Maria the Eagle - Fenella Fielding

Tom Harris MP - Bernard Bresslaw

George Osborne - Kenneth Williams

The Passenger - Terry Scott

"This one will run and run, unlike the trains." Conservative Party Central Office

Rated PG (contains scenes of mild violence and institutional incompetence).