Friday 23 April 2010

Pointless signs - Barking

This from @AMonkster, Via Twitter...


They'll be waiting a long time to get to Liverpool Street!

UPDATE: This from Lazarus...

Actually they'll be waiting at most 16 hours (weekdays).

First train of the day at 05:06 goes to Liverpool Street, as do the 20:51, 21:11 & 23:57.

UPDATE: This from a Mr Boughen...

The only way to get from Barking P5 to Liverpool Street is either a reverse close to Upney or at Gasworks Junction & Stratford.

Services to Liverpool Street depart from P8 (or P7) due to the fact that they connect to the GOBLIN & Forest Green Jct.

UPDATE: This from Tony Miles...

Mornington Crescent! Do I win?


DfT preparing to cut services?

This from a Mr Taylor...

Is DfT trying to sneak in plans to cut service levels during the life of franchises?

And hand back money as a reward to the lucky TOC at the same time?!

This from p28 of DfT's Future of Franchising document:

5.14 It will be important, especially in the case of longer franchises, to ensure that the Department’s original specification can be amended during the franchise term. We therefore want to ensure that operators have an incentive to propose changes to service levels to reflect levels of use. The Department is therefore considering amending the current franchise agreement so that’ where operators propose sensible measures to reduce costs during their franchise term’ they will be rewarded by receiving a proportion of these savings.

5.15 Under the current process there is no incentive for operators to make sensible changes to services that are no longer justified, since any savings are returned entirely to Government. This in turn drives sub-optimal decision making. It will be important that any such changes proposed by the operator are justified, and the Department will always consider such changes.

Tut tut tut.

Still, it might mean there is hope for London Midland and CrossCountry after all.

UPDATE: This from @SWLines, via Twitter...

I am reminded of "DfT do not renegotiate franchises"...do they mean except when it is convenient for them, then? :)

2.5% pay increase for all grades!

This with a bowler tip to @kpmarek, via Twitter...

Amazing what you come across in staff areas of stations!



Seen in Kensington Olympia meeting rooms.

Edukation, edukation, edukation

This from AlanG...

Spotted on a bus stop in Leicester Road, Loughborough last weekend whilst there for a very enjoyable Great Central Railway diesel gala.


No comment required...

CymruBahn - ve have vays of making you vait!

This from one of Eye's more erudite readers...

As it is almost certain that Arriva Trains Wales will form part of a ‘Greater Deutsche Bahn’ we can surely expect our Teutonic friends to insist that station announcements are also made in German, as well as Welsh and English.

Picture yourself as the humble passenger, weighed down with luggage.

You are standing on the concourse at Cardiff Central, the time is 17.15 and you are awaiting the announcement of your through train to Holyhead.


The following announcement is then made:

‘’Y trên nesaf i wyro oddi Platfform Dau yn y 17.20 Trenau Arriva Cymru gwasanaeth i Gaergybi. Galw yng Casnewydd, Cwmbran, Pont-ypŵl a New Inn, Y Fenni, Henffordd, Leominster, Ludlow, Shrewsbury, Gobowen, Y Waun, Rhiwabon, Wrecsam Cyffredinol, Caer, Shotton, Fflint, Prestatyn, Rhyl, Bae Colwyn, Cyffordd Llandudno, Bangor, Llanfairpwll, Bodorgan, Ty Croes, Rhosneigr, Cwm a Chaergybi. Llwyfan Dau am y 17.20 Trenau Arriva Cymru yn wasanaeth i Gaergybi. Pan fydd mynd ar y trên, os gwelwch yn dda meddwl y bwlch rhwng y trên ac ymyl y platfform. Llanfairpwll, Bodorgan, Ty Croes, Rhosneigr a Cymoedd yn cael eu stopio cais, a rhaid i deithwyr gwybod ir arweinydd ar y trên i drefnu ar gyfer y trên i atal, i ganiatáu iddynt i dân.

Der nächste Zug von Platform Zwei abzuweichen ist die 17,20 Arriva Trains Wales Service nach Holyhead. Calling in Newport, Cwmbran, Pontypool & New Inn, Abergavenny, Hereford, Leominster, Ludlow, Shrewsbury, Gobowen, Chirk, Ruabon, General Wrexham, Chester, Shotton, Fflint, Prestatyn, Rhyl, Colwyn Bay, Llandudno Junction, Bangor, Llanfairpwll, Bodorgan, Ty Croes, Rhosneigr, Valley und Holyhead. Zwei Plattform für die 17,20 Arriva Trains Wales Service nach Holyhead. Beim Einsteigen in den Zug, Bitte beachten Sie die Lücke zwischen Zug und Bahnsteigkante. Llanfairpwll, Bodorgan, Ty Croes, Rhosneigr und Tal sind, beantragen stoppt, und Fluggäste müssen die Schaffner im Zug zu informieren, um den Zug zu stoppen ordnen, damit sie zum Aussteigen.’’

The next train to depart from Platform Two is the 17.20 Arriva Trains Wales service to Holyhead. Calling at Newport, Cwmbran, Pontypool & New Inn, Abergavenny, Hereford, Leominster, Ludlow, Shrewsbury, Gobowen, Chirk, Ruabon, Wrexham General, Chester, Shotton, Fflint, Prestatyn, Rhyl, Colwyn Bay, Llandudno Junction, Bangor, Llanfairpwll, Bodorgan, Ty Croes, Rhosneigr, Valley and Holyhead. Platform Two for the 17.20 Arriva Trains Wales service to Holyhead. When boarding the train, please mind the gap between the train and the platform edge. Llanfairpwll, Bodorgan, Ty Croes, Rhosneigr and Valley are request stops, and passengers must inform the conductor on the train to arrange for the train to stop, to allow them to alight.’’

By the time that lot has finished, the train will be long gone!

UPDATE: This from Eastwestdivide...

Was the Arriva announcement translated by someone who can use a dictionary but doesn't know the language, or by a translation robot?


Fluggäste = "airline passengers" for one thing, and the rest of it is either gibberish, ungrammatical or Welsh (possibly all three).

"Gibberish, ungrammatical or Welsh" - is this not tautological? Eye suspects German announcements at Cardiff Central would be every bit as useful as those in Welsh.

UPDATE: This from Bulldog Drummond...

No doubt the Hun will get up to his old tricks and insist on the Germanisation of place names.

How about:

Holyhead as Heilgkopf
Newport as Neuhafen
Cwmbran as Cwmkleie
or
Shrewsbury as Spitzmausebestattend (a place where shrews are buried).

I'm sure our willing cooperation would hasten the rapid recreation of a vertically integrated railway, albeit one run from Potsdamer Platz.

UPDATE: This from Jens...

As a German and a nitpicker (ok, there's a tautology for you...) I'd like to correct the German version of your announcement.

A direct translation of the English announcement would be:

Der nächste Zug, der von Bahnsteig 2 abfährt, ist der 17:20 Arriva-Trains-Wales-Dienst nach Holyhead. Mit Halt in Newport, Cwmbran, Pontypool & New Inn, Abergavenny, Hereford, Leominster, Ludlow, Shrewsbury, Gobowen, Chirk, Ruabon, Wrexham General, Chester, Shotton, Fflint, Prestatyn, Rhyl, Colwyn Bay, Llandudno Junction, Bangor, Llanfairpwll, Bodorgan, Ty Croes, Rhosneigr, Valles und Holyhead. Bahnsteig 2 für den 17:20 Arriva-Trains-Wales-Dienst nach Holyhead. Beim Einsteigen achten Sie bitte auf die Lücke zwischen dem Zug und der Bahnsteigkante. Llanfairpwll, Bodorgan, Ty Croes, Rhosneigr und Valley sind Bedarfshalte und Fahrgäste müssen den Schaffner im Zug informieren, damit der Zug anhält und sie aussteigen können.

But that's not how the Deutsche Bahn announces trains - it's just a translation of the English one.

Here's how a German one would look:

Auf Gleis 2 fährt ein die 17:20 Arriva-Trains-Wales-Bahn nach Holyhead mit Halt in Newport, Shrewsbury, Wrexham General, Chester und Holyhead. Auf Gleis 2 steht abfahrbereit die Arriva-Trains-Wales-Bahn nach Holyhead. Bitte Vorsicht an der Bahnsteigkante. Bitte beachten Sie, dass Llanfairpwll, Bodorgan, Ty Croes, Rhosneigr und Valley Bedarfshaltestellen sind; Fahrgäste die dort aussteigen möchten, müssen die Haltetaste betätigen.

A literal translation would be:


On track 2...

(because on platform 2 the people are waiting for the train - don't want to squish them)


...is pulling in...

(because the train is not walking or flying. We don't want to confuse the passengers)

...the 17:20 Arriva-Trains-Wales train...

(Service... if you insist. But it's a train pulling in. Not a service. The service is that the train is running and pulling in right now. As I said. We Germans like it precise. If you talked about service in Germany, people would get confused, especially if that service is apparently pulling into a station right now)

...to Holyhead with stops in Newport, Shrewsbury, Wrexham General, Chester and Holyhead.

(They don't mention every little village on the way, they just give some of the major ones. You know. Because it's more efficient.)


On track 2...

(again, no squishy noises and no panic amongst the waiting passengers)

...is standing ready for departure...

(yes, "ready for departure" is one word in German. And we have another one for human beings ready for departure. We're awesome)


...the 17:20 Arriva-Trains-Wales train to Holyhead. Please display caution at the edge of the platform.

(We Germans are smart enough to know that there's a train involved and that is the reason you should be cautious)

Please observe that Llanfairpwll, Bodorgan, Ty Croes, Rhosneigr and Valley are request stops; passengers who wish to alight here, should press the STOP button.

Seriously. "TELL THE CONDUCTOR"?

Hellooo!

Britain!!

This is the 21st century!!!

All services in Germany which have request stops have STOP buttons like those on buses which you can press to request a stop.

No wonder the Deutsche Bahn is entering the British train market. I guess the main motivation was pity.

North London rumblings

This from the Sleeper

First supremo Mary Grant told West Hampstead public transport enthusiasts that Cricklewood Thameslink station would close, when a new, gleaming replacement was built at Brent Cross, a mile away.

Unfortunately, Cricklewood Thameslink is on the doorstep of ex-Mayor Ken Livingstone, who will not be too pleased.

Other members of the chattering classes also use the station.

Luckily for North London chatterati, Brent Cross has a stop order on it from the Secretary of State, so this matter will await whoever gets their feet under that particular desk after the election.

Arriva - Don't mention the war!

Evidently the sale of Arriva to Deutsche Bahn has been well received.

This from thisismoney.co.uk...

The successor company to Deutsche Reichsbahn, which ran the trains to Germany's Second World War death camps, won control of Sunderland-based transport group Arriva after a £1.6bn bid.

Gosh!

Cry...

God for Harry, England, and Saint George!


Happy St George's day.

With a bowler tip, of course, to birthday boy Waggledagger.


And belated happy returns Ma'am
.

UPDATE: This from Captain Deltic...

Or should that read Cry Havoc! and unleash the dogs of railway value for money reviews?

UPDATE: This from Archbishop Cranmer's blog....

Two thirds of voters (68%) in England believe England should have its own Parliament with similar powers to those of the Scottish Parliament, according to a new ICM poll for the Rowntree-backed democracy campaign group POWER2010 published on St George’s Day.

His Grace's perspicacity knows no bounds.