Monday, 8 December 2008

From his own lips....

Good news from Northampton.

As is well known DafT does not micromanage franchises.

But in a major scoop the Northampton Chronicle has uncovered the following shocking admission concealed very near the top of a DafT press release:

Lord Adonis said "This new timetable will see many more trains running every day, many of them originally specified by the Government and now being introduced by franchised train operators."

Remember, you read it there first.


Glad tidings from Network Rail!

According to a press release from the Death Star (nee Black Tower) the West Coast Project is completed!

Amidst a tide of trumpet blasts a euphoric Iain Coucher proclaimed:

"Network Rail has delivered West Coast on the day we said we would."

Meanwhile the industry said:

I met a traveller from an antique land

Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them on the sand,
Half sunk, a shatter'd visage lies, whose frown
And wrinkled lip and sneer of cold command
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamp'd on these lifeless things,
The hand that mock'd them and the heart that fed.
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Ozymandiain, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains: round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

Tears of two clowns

Good news for Gordon Brown and Geoff Hoon!

The Standard reveals that some Virgin fares will treble as the government contractor imposes increased restrictions on off-peak travel from Euston from Sunday.

Expect 'Hoon and the Goon' to shed crocodile tears whilst continuing to deny any responsibility (see Eye passim).

Irony lost on them...

More excitement following yesterday's Mail on Sunday piece on the Peak Army.

The story has not played well with the die hard cranktocracy who have taken to emailing Wolmar in the electronic equivalent of green ink.

Copied to all their mates (Sid and Doris Bonkers) they contain a stout defence of their hobby and a suggestion that the story might have been a tad sensationalised.

Other writers have been less brave.

One scribbler chose not to cc his mates on the original flame-mail, preferring to forwarded it to a cast of thousands with the following preface: "Is is just me or has he got one of those faces that you would just love to punch?".

The Fact Compiler would like to remind readers that the original Mail on Sunday piece referred to trainspotters yobbish behaviour.