Thursday, 12 June 2008

Spot the Crank #2

Today's mystery crank is so keen to get the perfect shot of LU heritage loco Sarah Siddons that he appears to have forgotten the railway by-laws relating to feet on seats.

If you have a spare copy perhaps you could send them to the address below:

Mark Hopwood
Performance Director
Freepost SWB40576

David Davis resigns

***David Davis is standing down from both Shadow Cabinet and Parliament to trigger a by-election on the ticket of setting the people free from this overweening Government.***

The Fact Compiler wishes him all the best and hopes that the resultant reshuffle will see a Shadow Transport Secretary of the stature of Chris Grayling rather than the one we now have, whose name eludes me...

NR promises to speed up WCML upgrade

The Fact Compiler understands that NR talent scouts from the West Coast upgrade team are planning to attend Horwich Carnival...

The Health and Safety Taliban will be delighted to know that owing to "insurance" issues only narrow gauge sleepers will be used.

FURTHER UPDATE: Sources within the ORR confirm they have suggested that NR do the same to help reduce costs and Lost Time Injuries...

The road to hell is paved...

You feel for the poor PR souls tasked with promoting First Great Western. The company is not without a certain promotional flair.

Regrettably this is all too often let down by FGW's piss-poor operating department, who have proven themselves consistently able to snatch disaster from the jaws of victory.

The Swindon Spinners recently jumped at the chance to leap into bed with feisty Bristol rag the Evening News. The plan was to celebrate the new summer timetable on the Severn Beach line by offering readers free travel last Sunday.

Clutching their tokens loyal readers descended on stations between Temple Meads and Severn Beach to take advantage of the offer, which FGW must have hoped would usher in a new positive relationship with one of their most vocal media critics.

Whoops! Of the 16 scheduled services, seven were cancelled, leaving dozens of passengers stranded on platforms.

A Worst Great Western spokesman blamed "a train fault and a shortage of staff" for the debacle which has seen any remaining FGW credibility with the Evening News pissed-up against the wall.

The Fact Compiler thinks the Swindon Spinners were being too kind.

He would have named the chocolate teapot in the operating department responsible for diagramming and rostering. To run a high profile community event in conjunction with hostile local media and not have a watertight operating plan is nigh on criminal.